So, here’s a little task for all you bright people. I’m going to do the following:
1) Give you a copy of my June 2011 bank statement for my personal account … and
2) Give you a copy of my June 2011 bank statement for my business account … and
3) Give you a copy of my profit-and-loss statement showing the total amount of payroll expense in June 2011.
In addition, I will also tell you that I am the only employee of my business; therefore, the entire payroll amount reported on the P&L was paid to me.
Your task, now, is to verify that the business did, indeed, pay me the amount (by check) that I say I am paid.
Just so you know what you’re getting into, I’ll tell you that the statement for the business account shows records for 19 transactions. Eight are checks, five are deposits, five are debit-card transactions and one is a bank service fee. So, to successfully complete this task you’ll need to look at the records of the eight checks. The personal bank statement details 38 transactions, four of which are deposits.
What’s the catch, you ask? Surely all this should take is looking at the amounts of the eight checks on the business statement to see which ones match up with the amounts in any of the four deposits on the personal statement, add the matching deposits up and then look to see whether the number you get matches the payroll expense amount reported on the P&L.
Apparently not if you work for Wells Fargo. If you work for Wells Fargo, it seems that one of the following might be true:
1) You don’t know how to read a bank statement.
2) You don’t know how to read.
3) You don’t know what the words “deposit” and “draft” mean in the context of a bank statement.
4) You can’t add, in this case, two three-digit numbers.
5) You really can do all those things, but your boss told you to pretend you couldn’t so as to further delay the review of a customer’s mortgage loan for modification.
If you work for Wells Fargo and are asked to perform this very task while reviewing a customer’s loan modification paperwork, you will fail. Or, at least, you will inform the customer that you failed, even though saying so will make you seem to be a complete incompetent idiot who shouldn’t be working in a burger joint, let alone in the Office of the President of a multi-billion-dollar corporation.
You will be required tell the customer that in order to verify her income, you will need her to send you copies of the checks that were written on the business account and deposited into the personal account. (Just FYI, there were two.) Because until you see those checks with your own eyes, you have no idea whatsoever what that customer’s income might be.
Just imagine how awful it must be to work for this company whose system for “reviewing” loan mod requests requires you to pretend, right out there in public, you are a complete imbecile. That would sure get old fast. (And even rate an entry in the My Bad Boss contest – a little humor to keep you from beating your head on your desk after reading about this bankster nonsense.)